My Love Affair With Food…

I am in love with food, and my love affair with food has got to stop!

I eat food when I am happy.

I eat food when I am sad.

I eat food when I am lonely.

I eat food when I am at parties with hundreds of people.

I eat food, all the time, for every single emotion I experience.

Ninety percent of my pins on Pinterest have to do with food.

It is embarrassing, but that is the honest truth.  For thirty-seven years I have come to food to fill my needs, yet all it does is leave me empty.  Seriously, empty.  Fortunately or unfortunately, my love affair with food has got to stop.  I have been nursing a knee injury for weeks.


All exercise, including training for two dualathons has ceased.  I have been benched again.  However, I believe it is a true intervention.  You see, I am obsessed with food so much, in fact, that I pretty much worship it.  I think about it all the time, and I have never been willing to adjust my eating habits to lose pounds.  Never!  Oh yes, I did the 21-day Standard Process Cleanse about six months ago, but as soon as the 21 days were over, I went straight back to my old habits and gained almost double what I lost.

I  reward myself with food, so when I work out like the “Warrior Princess” I am, then my trophy of choice is food.  Casa Ole’s chicken flameado and a house margarita (or two)!  Papa John’s the Works  Pizza, baby, with extra garlic sauce!  Chocolate chip cookie dough, and don’t even think that I wait to bake them. No, ma’am, all I need is a spoon and the mixing bowl. Pure happiness (or is it?)!

Just to fill you in, I have been consuming a minimum of 2500-3000 calories every day. I know this  because I use my Fitness Pal App religiously and count my calories. I’m obsessed with counting calories, and there has been no greater joy than to log in all the food I ate that day, and upon adding my workouts, see the calories instantly disappear. It was and still is exhilarating!!!  But foolish me, could never understand why I still wasn’t losing any weight.  I was dumbfounded. Angry.  Pissed! Why?  Why can I work out so much, and so hard, yet see no results?  Well, I had a little “heart to heart” with myself the other day, and  I discovered that I have been eating way too many calories. Shocker!!!  If I was satisfied with my weight, which I am not, as I am close to morbidly obese in the medical books, 2500 calories a day with exercise would help me “maintain” my weight. But I am no where near healthy.  I am 187 pounds and 5 foot 2 inches tall.  I must lose weight and after doing some research, I believe following a 1500 calorie diet is essential to my success.

What? What?

I know what you are thinking.  That’s like practically starving one’s self!!!  Believe me, I thought the exact same thing. To be honest, I don’t think I have ever JUST consumed 1500 calories in a day. Well, maybe when I was puking my guts out with the stomach bug, but even then I was somehow always able to eat food.  Like, for real.  My calorie count never even came close to 1500 calories while exercising like a freakin’ beast.

So last week after sitting idle, literally, and maintaining my 2500-3000 calorie meal plan WITHOUT exercising, I had a wake up call. A three pound weight gain in one week.  While I am not proficient at math, I honestly suck, I knew that three pounds a week, times four weeks, is twelve pounds in a month, and well, you get the picture.  No bueno!  I began to envision my 5 foot 2, thirty something self at 300 pounds or more.  My head began reeling and I felt nauseous.

The severity of my love affair with food smacked me straight in the face. I now have two options. I can continue eating the way I have always eaten, and consume obnoxious amounts of calories to feed my emotions, while still not being completely satisfied, or I can do an about face and do something completely fresh and new.  One thing is certain, I cannot begin exercising until I see a doctor and if I change nothing, nothing will change, except of course, for my weight, which will soar.

Fresh and new is what I have decided to do, and it scares the crap out of me. Seriously!  The “Warrior Princess,” she’s a beast!  She can do that stupid crab walk and bear crawl, and run the bridge and do flutter kicks and walking lunges, and triathlons and even those ridiculous frog leaps across the gym floor, which once took me a whole hour to finish, but tell me I can’t eat pizza and “the beast” goes bananas.

But I have to change today, and I have Chris Powell from Extreme Weight Loss to thank for that.

“It is so incredible to see just how much people can change in just 90 days.  Millions of Americans are just sitting around and they don’t realize that in 90 short days they can change their life forever. I mean, you at home?  What is it that you have always wanted? And do you know that you can just be 90 days away from a happier, healthier life?” – Chris Powell (Extreme Weight Loss)

Chris Powell was talking to me…TO ME!  As I sat staring at the television, Chris’s words changed me in the most  profound way! “What is it that you have always wanted? And do you know that you can just be 90 days away from a happier, healthier life” (Powell, Chris; Extreme Weight Loss)?

No, I did not realize that I could be just 90 days away from a happier, healthier life.  His words penetrated my heart! I honestly did NOT know, nor believe that.  Change has always seemed to take years and years and even decades in my family.  But I actually love change. I want change.  But in 90 days, I do not want to be the heaviest I have ever been.  Yet, it is the other question, that is most difficult to stomach.  “What is it that you have always wanted”  (Powell, Chris; Extreme Weight Loss)?  I have never allowed myself to answer that question.   Sadly, my deep lack of self-confidence and my constant feeling of worthlessness has taught me to believe that I don’t deserve anything good.  Frankly even fitting in a size ten pair of jeans is off limits, or at least it has been.  It’s kind of a curse, and as I struggle with my weight loss and my love affair with food, I am beginning to understand that until THAT mindset changes, my weight will literally never come off.  I certainly have a pretty big mountain to climb, but before I can use my legs again, I have have to get control of my food addiction.

I truly want to believe that in 90 days I will be happier and healthier than I have ever been!  I can’t even imagine what that would look like and feel like.  But thankfully, the journey has already begun.  Last week, after hours of pondering Chris Powell’s questions, I Googled his television show and soon discovered the FREE Vemma Bode App!


The program,  is based on a 1500 calorie diet plan that focuses on Carb Cycling.

A carb cycle is a 7-day period where one alternates between two low-carb days and one high-carb day for six days, followed by one guilt-free day on the seventh day. The varied consumption of carbohydrates helps change how your body uses nutrients and supports your weight management goals. (

I say, if one cannot cycle, then why not try “carb cycling.”  Ba dum bum, cymbal crash!


The Vemma Bode App has incredibly good recipes with menus that include food that I genuinely like to eat.  No tasteless tofu (FYI: my sister in law makes fabulous tofu, I just don’t) or crazy quinoa for me, though the plan allows for you to choose the protein, veggies and fats that you wish to eat each day, and if you are a vegan or vegetarian you can choose those options or simply choose your own meal.  It just so happens that I need the boundaries that this program offers and am choosing to follow the plan they provide (minus the shakes).  It also includes a “Guilt Free Day” which they encourage you to “reward yourself by indulging in foods you crave… but be careful not to go overboard” ( and asks you to eat five times a day (every three hours), rather than just three times a day.  It’s truly a food addict’s dream! I mean, it is as if the creators of this program actually had me in mind when they created it! Incredible!

My first “official” weigh in day is in two days, though my anal retentive self has already participated in daily weigh ins, recording a 2 1/2 pound weight loss.  I am seriously lovin’ this!!!

So, did you know that in ninety days I will be living a happier healthier life?  Well you do now, and you can be a part of that journey by holding me accountable or better yet, start the program yourself .  Ninety days is a long time.  I am super excited, right now, but I have a tendency to let that excitement fade and go back to my comfort zone.  I cannot do that, anymore.  Won’t you join me?  Your prayers would be appreciated!