The Biggest Mistake of My Life

Almost exactly a year ago I nearly gave up the only thing I have ever wanted to do in my whole life.  Amidst my supreme sadness and inability to see the light at the end of the tunnel due to the fantastically, wretched fog in my life, I was ready to give it all up.

As a little girl, not a teenager or twenty-something, but as a sweet little miss, I remember dreaming about working in the church.  And while I am uncertain of the exact events, persons, or conversations that led me to this dream, I am certain it was God’s still small voice that fashioned me into the professional I am today.  All those years ago, my Heavenly Father called a self-conscious, awkward, nail-biting, slightly obnoxious,  far from the “top of the class” little girl to serve full-time in His church. I will never forget my first day of Old Testament class in college when my professor was talking about “some man” from the Bible.  My classmates interjected and filled in the blanks to the story and I sat there dumbfounded, “who are you guys talking about?” Clearly I should have known who they were discussing, but this experience was certain proof that “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called!”  

Indeed, I could have given up before I even started, which would have allowed many of my naysayers an antacid-free life, but conversely, I would not have been carrying out what God has called me to do.  Serving as a full-time youth director is my dream!  It has meant living a tremendously sacrificial life 1500 miles away from my closest family and friends. It meant giving up the opportunity to see my little brothers go to prom, and tease them about their first kiss.  It meant I couldn’t be at my sister’s college graduation or her bachelorette party.  It meant missing countless opportunities to grieve with and console my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins who have had to bury our loved ones.  Is it all for not?  Maybe I should have given it all up along time ago?  Sometimes, I have wondered.

But this past Sunday, after falling ill, I had to leave my job early.  It was the first time in my career that I have had to leave a Worship service prematurely. Granted, my sick body was alerting me to rest, but I honestly didn’t want to leave.  I wanted to hang on because I love my job.  I desired to stay because I am passionate about God’s people.  I wanted to remain because I adore my church family and I long to forever Worship the Almighty God who has called me to serve in the capacity I do. This temporary absence from work reminded me that if I had abandoned my career at my lowest of low, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. 

Are you at the end of your rope? Are you drowning and can’t catch a breath?  Are you ready to turn in the towel, hang up your marriage, change careers, abandon your kids, walk away from your friends, terminate your dreams, withdraw from civilization?  

The god-awful muck and mire that sometimes accompanies life is tremendously crushing.  I was there. I wanted to quit.  I wanted to walk away and Satan, in his brilliance was in “my corner” pressuring me to surrender.  I don’t even have to wager to bet that He is doing the same in your ring. The Prince of Darkness and his evil entourage want victories that aren’t theirs for the taking. The Devil has already been defeated, my friends!!!  Satan was knocked out in one fell swoop by Christ our King!!   

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:57-58

What is it that you love more than life itself?  

Is there something or someone in your life that you are unable to live without?  

God has a purpose for you!  

God’s purpose is more powerful than our passing pain!!!



One comment

  1. Hope you’re feeling better and you’re absolutely right that God does have a purpose! I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions when you have a moment. I can be reached at cvonstjames AT gmail DOT com . Thanks, Kristy! Hope to hear from you soon. 🙂

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