So for no reason, other than the fact that I need to continue on this journey to becoming healthy, I got up on Thursday morning and ran again with my running buddy “B.” The race I have been training for is over and in my past life, that would have given me permission to stop exercising altogether until I reached yet again my “highest weight,” or I couldn’t fit into any of my pants, whichever came first. Then I would frantically re-start my workouts only to re-experience the pain in my lungs, difficulty breathing and the ridiculous muscle aches and pains that you get from working out when you are out of shape. However, something in me has changed. I absolutely DID NOT want to get up in the morning to run, fortunately, I knew I needed to and I did. My running buddy, “B” and I ran another five miles that day. HOOAH! I love running, and I especially love running with a friend. It is amazing how having an accountability partner increases one’s success rate. Last week I wasn’t able to run with her and I only completed four miles, but when I do run with “B” I feel empowered and confident, running harder and faster. The conversation’s pass the time, encourage me, and distract my brain from feeling the need to stop. And while I am very proud of my continuing exercise routine, I must confess that I have done a terrible job in the “eating healthy” department this week. I knew Holiday time was going to be a challenge, but rather than get all bent out of shape, today I stepped back for a moment, and looked at the bigger picture. Yes, I did overeat. It is going to happen to all of us. But it doesn’t have to happen all the time. You see, I had a staff Christmas party on Thursday, as we all will at some point in the next 365 days. In preparation for the anticipated smorgasbord I ate a healthy supper in hopes that I wouldn’t be tempted to eat anything while there. Unfortunately, the temptation was too great and I “fudged” on my diet. However, there are three things that were different that night, and those three things lead me to believe I am changing and give me confidence that I will continue to maintain this healthy lifestyle: 1) I had a fabulous time at a party with friends and co-workers whom I love. I don’t go out very often and it was fabulous to celebrate with other people. We should all take time out for ourselves every once in a while. 2) I tasted some great food that I have never eaten before, which I may never get to have again. Never eating at a party for the rest of my life, simply isn’t realistic. 3) I did not consume nearly the amount of food I normally do when at a party. This is means for a celebration!!!! For those of us trying to conquer our eating disorders, we need to celebrate the small stuff!! I enjoyed myself at a party, experienced new things, and new people, and I didn’t eat like a “piggy.” And to top it off, this afternoon, I rode my bike for 55 minutes! I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. The exercise routine that Coach Mark from HITS Endurance set up for me has become exactly that, a routine, and I thrive on a routine!
“You know you are addicted to a food if despite knowing it is bad for you and despite wanting to change, you still keep eating it. Addiction means that a craving has more control over your behavior than you do.” ― Kathy Freston, Veganist: Lose Weight, Get Healthy, Change the World